Sweet Salento.

It was time to head to the coffee growing region of Colombia for some rest and to be back amongst nature again, after way too many concrete jungles. So we made haste for a town called Salento for a few nights of peace, love and music.

This quickly turned into a few weeks as we fell in love with the town, it's great food, cool bars, friendly people and a kitten called Janet.

Our hostel was pretty spectacular, with panoramic views(above)and a good crew running the place. The owner was a cool New Yorker who kept on telling me to 'forget abowd id' and whenever he gave directions, it always started with the words 'ok, whatcha wanna do is go down here.....'.

I actually read a whole book during our stay! I know what you're thinking 'that's pretty damn impressive Freemo, you're the man and I will name my first born son after you'. Well, wait till I tell you that it was a leather bound book! I won't mention it now though, you're obviously over stimulated as it is.

This pic was taken late one Saturday night, the man third from the left has obviously never seen a camera operate in the evening before.

The greatest coffee shop I've ever bean to (that's actually what I wrote in their guest book), not only did it serve the best coffee I've had in South America, but they do the whole process themselves- from the bean to the cup.

Interestingly, they were one of the only coffee growers to keep their best beans in the country. The coffee in South America generally tastes like a Macca's coffee from Australia, mixed with Tabasco sauce and fertile soil. This is because all of the best beans are exported to fastidious coffee drinkers in places like Australia and North Eastern Russia, according to a very knowledgeable horse I was talking to after visiting the Valley de Cocora.

The valley de Cocora was a surreal place. It featured deep jungle, big ol' waterfalls, smart mouthed hummingbirds, massive palm trees, a Gloria Jeans, goats wearing spectacles and apparently it's also dubbed 'The valley of mushrooms' for reasons unbeknown to me.

There was plenty of live performers getting around, pictured is an example of the average Colombian coffee region type dude, which have to be some of the coolest dude types on the planet. Kinda like cowboys, but smaller and more approachable.

So, after about 2 weeks of hanging out, drinking beer and talking to animals we decided to hit the road and do the same thing somewhere else, it was time to change countries and head South to Ecuador via the dodgy and often hijacked bus to the border. As you boarded the bus you were patted down, your luggage searched and they filmed everyone for the record. It seemed pretty intense, but it was all fine/dandy and 15 hours later we were finally in another country.

Medellin

We pulled into Medellin bus station at 6 am after a crazy, 'close your eyes and hope for the best' style bus ride. They really don't hang around these Colombian bus drivers and I'm sure they're taking in 2 of Colombia's biggest exports to keep them on their toes and to nicely control the 4 wheel drift of a 20 tonne vehicle.

Speaking of one of the above mentioned exports, Medellin is probably worst known for it's relationship with the cocaine trade, particularly in the 80's and 90's where it was also regarded as the most dangerous city in the world mainly thanks to a man called Pablo Escobar. He caused chaos and pandemonium in the town by offering $500 for the head of any policeman in the mid 80's, which was a successful campaign apparently.

The most interesting thing we did in Medellin was certainly the Pablo Escobar Reality Tour. Which was a short tour showing some of his old residences, the places he blew up, the site of his execution and eventually his grave.

The reason why this tour was so interesting was the tour guide. At first it seemed that he was only furthering Escobar's false iconic status, but over the course of the tour he managed to completely erase that status. He is without doubt one of the most horrific people to have ever lived, as all the killing he did through the hands of others and other shocking exploits was for nothing but the expansion of his empire and personal wealth - which was quite considerable, so considerable in fact that he offered to pay off Colombia's national debt (a sum of approximately 20 billion at the time) for the simple favour of legalising cocaine.

The CIA and the Colombian government eventually collaborated and formed a squad of 1500 men to capture and kill him, which they eventually did after a whopping 500 day search in 1993.

Sorry for the nasty image, but it really shows how much this execution was a success and a great day for Medellin's and Colombia's future.

These days Medellin is really quite safe if you stay in the right places and we had a few great nights hanging out in the fantastic bar and club scene it offer's, with over one hundred bars in a 3 block area!

Back in black!

Terribly sorry for my tardiness on this bloggy thing, I've had some technical difficulties which have now been rectified plus there was an issue with some underfed monkeys which I really can't go into.

So, I figured I could summarise what's been happening mainly through the medium of photographs.

We went to the seaside (pictured above) on the Caribbean . Now I'm not really one for the beach, or going outside and doing stuff. But this was a pretty nice beach as you can see. I even went in the water and it was pretty good I guess. We slept here in a hammock next to the ocean which was great, but if you're knocking at the door of 2 meters in height my advice would be to ask for 2 hammocks joined together.

This little fellow joined us in the sleeping quarters and I believe he possessed the power of Xray vision.

Next up was the fairytale city of Cartagena, as featured in the famous Marquez novel 'Love in the time of Cholera' which I know you all adore. It was a very impressive sight I have to say

with 12 meter thick walls surrounding the place apparently to protect it from pirates and Keith Richards. Add to this the fact that the enclosed old town was perfectly preserved in its 17th century colonial style, it's the perfect setting for making babies.

The city also features many gastronomical delights such as this and if there was one meal I could eat for the rest of my life, it would be this one. It's just curried chicken, but it's what they do with it you see darl. I don't know exactly what they do with it, but it was simply cock hardening. Gabby's meal is in the background which is fillet mignon, not bad in it's own right especially for about $8 US.

This guy is a famous Salsa musician and we were lucky enough to sneak into a packed club and see his band perform a few sets. The atmosphere at these shows is electric and he was fantastic, plus he was nice enough to hold still for me so I could take this photo. It's probably my favourite pic of the trip so far and the funny thing is that it was taken with my little 'party camera' and not my big boy camera.

Gab had a little boogie later on that night with our friend Marta, whereas our friend Bruce and I sat down like men. I must say Gab looked quite on home in the salsa club, which is no surprise because we all know dat girl got skills.

Next day we explored some of the tunnels that were hidden inside the city walls. It was pretty exhillerating I must say, seemingly akin to a labaryth in some sections. I think I saw David Bowie hanging out eating a toffee apple in one of the dimly lit corridors. One tunnel we chose dropped steeply into the earth and must have descended approximately 100 meters below the surface. It was pretty spooky down here, especially considering the fact that 100's of people perished in these tunnels during attacks on the city. We decided to turn around when the lights went out and the path turned to mud.

Next up, the famed drug trafficking city of Medellin.

RIP Smith Hooded Sweatshirt

I really liked my Smith hoodie. I kept me warm, whilst being cool.

It featured neat gold embroidery, draw-string hooded area for additional facial warmth, generous pocket area, full length zipper and it just made you feel cosy.........and loved.



Here is a picture of me and the garment in happier times.



I loved it so..... and this is why I have such deep regret for the manner in which it died.

As mention in a previous post, I became quite ill about 2 weeks into our Colombian stay. We were situated in a town high in the Andes and faced a 16 hour winding, slow overnight bus ride to the Caribbean city of Santa Marta, we decided to wait until I was healthy enough to undertake such a journey. As it turned out, I was still very ill when I assumed I was ok.

After 2 hours of bumpy roads I became violently ill, the need to vomit was uncontrollable. Gabby tried to get them to stop the bus, with no success, I had to let go right then and there into my ever faithful Smith Hoodie (who was just minding his own business keeping my lap warm). It proved to be quite the make-do receptacle and I'm sure the (prick) bus conductor was surprised by just how much pepperoni pizza this gringo could put down, but unfortunately couldn't KEEP down.

A moment of hope passed through me thinking 'I could wash him, the smell would eventually disappear. Everything would be back to normal, we could sing, laugh and whistle like we used to'. But no, I was kidding myself, I had to lay him to rest. Coffined in a white plastic bag, placed in a Roadside Rubbish Receptacle (RRR) at a petrol station in Colombia's steamy North.

Miss you Black Beauty, think about you every day.

Bogota.

Landing in Colombia before embarking on the less intimidating South American countries was always going to be tough. But that's how I wanted it. We soon learned just how tough it was going to be. The first taxi driver we came across after landing had one thing to say to us when he discovered that we couldn't speak any Spanish - ¨Complication!¨ he laughed and then giggled for another 10 seconds.

Yes, we didn't speak Spanish and that certainly made our first few days in Bogota, the nation's capital, a little scary and we thought we had been throw right in the deep end. But in hindsight Bogota was a pretty cool place, with funky shops and bars. Also it was quite reserved and probably far safer than most of the places we've been to since.

One feature of the city was a cable car ride to the peak of a nearby mountain which provided stunning views over the sprawling city. There was an option to walk the mountain but, seeing as the city itself lies at 3000 metres above sea level, we decided to take the easy option.

Next up we hit the bus to a small town called Villa De Leyva. The bus rides themselves prove to be quite eventful, as anyone who has travelled through South America will attest to. For instance, the bus drivers in Ecuador are currently on strike because they are no longer allowed to drink beer while they operate a large vehicle at high speed which houses approximately 40 trusting souls! It's a bloody outrage!


Colombia has a metric shit load of military check points along it's highways. This is to help prevent paramilitary activity and kidnappings (which are still happening occasionally). At these points all of the male passengers are instructed to leave the bus (apparently women wouldn't ever dream of carrying a weapon) and the nice young military men touting AK 47's put in a token effort to pat you down and make sure you're an ok dude. One particular soldier thought it was hilarious when he approached me for a routine search and I threw my hands in the air like he was going to shoot me. He laughed so much that he forgot to conduct the search. I think there is a lesson in that for aspiring young kidnappers.

Our time in Villa De Leyva was great, it's a tourist spot for a lot of domestic travellers yet still sees very few foreigners. Gabby and I were approached several times in the street by gawking locals who wanted to have their picture taken with us, which was unusual for Gabby but just another day in public for me. I told them that everyone in Australia is as tall and hot as us.

We explored the cobbled, colonial streets in Villa De Leyva taking in the tourist attractions. One of which was a fossil of a sea dwelling dinosaur which was approximately 12 metres long and at least 200 years old!!!!! (which I'm told is when dinosaurs were eventually defeated by English stable boys who had grown tired of frequent dinosaur related violence).

There were many tourist attractions in the area associated with dinosaurs, including a park with hundreds of full scale models (shown below) that probably would be of little interest to most human adults, but Gab and I had a great time.


One of the things I'm trying to master on this trip is the dying art of the timer photograph. Where you set up the camera, click the shutter and run to get in the frame. You know, like Chevy Chase would do at the family Christmas gathering. It allows pictures from solitary situations which might otherwise leave you un-featured in the memory. Here is a fine example of this timeless (huh) art in practice.

I drank the water in Villa De Leyva late one night, desperate for hydration and I paid the price for the next two weeks. Bottled water only from here on in.........