Back in black!

Terribly sorry for my tardiness on this bloggy thing, I've had some technical difficulties which have now been rectified plus there was an issue with some underfed monkeys which I really can't go into.

So, I figured I could summarise what's been happening mainly through the medium of photographs.

We went to the seaside (pictured above) on the Caribbean . Now I'm not really one for the beach, or going outside and doing stuff. But this was a pretty nice beach as you can see. I even went in the water and it was pretty good I guess. We slept here in a hammock next to the ocean which was great, but if you're knocking at the door of 2 meters in height my advice would be to ask for 2 hammocks joined together.

This little fellow joined us in the sleeping quarters and I believe he possessed the power of Xray vision.

Next up was the fairytale city of Cartagena, as featured in the famous Marquez novel 'Love in the time of Cholera' which I know you all adore. It was a very impressive sight I have to say

with 12 meter thick walls surrounding the place apparently to protect it from pirates and Keith Richards. Add to this the fact that the enclosed old town was perfectly preserved in its 17th century colonial style, it's the perfect setting for making babies.

The city also features many gastronomical delights such as this and if there was one meal I could eat for the rest of my life, it would be this one. It's just curried chicken, but it's what they do with it you see darl. I don't know exactly what they do with it, but it was simply cock hardening. Gabby's meal is in the background which is fillet mignon, not bad in it's own right especially for about $8 US.

This guy is a famous Salsa musician and we were lucky enough to sneak into a packed club and see his band perform a few sets. The atmosphere at these shows is electric and he was fantastic, plus he was nice enough to hold still for me so I could take this photo. It's probably my favourite pic of the trip so far and the funny thing is that it was taken with my little 'party camera' and not my big boy camera.

Gab had a little boogie later on that night with our friend Marta, whereas our friend Bruce and I sat down like men. I must say Gab looked quite on home in the salsa club, which is no surprise because we all know dat girl got skills.

Next day we explored some of the tunnels that were hidden inside the city walls. It was pretty exhillerating I must say, seemingly akin to a labaryth in some sections. I think I saw David Bowie hanging out eating a toffee apple in one of the dimly lit corridors. One tunnel we chose dropped steeply into the earth and must have descended approximately 100 meters below the surface. It was pretty spooky down here, especially considering the fact that 100's of people perished in these tunnels during attacks on the city. We decided to turn around when the lights went out and the path turned to mud.

Next up, the famed drug trafficking city of Medellin.

RIP Smith Hooded Sweatshirt

I really liked my Smith hoodie. I kept me warm, whilst being cool.

It featured neat gold embroidery, draw-string hooded area for additional facial warmth, generous pocket area, full length zipper and it just made you feel cosy.........and loved.



Here is a picture of me and the garment in happier times.



I loved it so..... and this is why I have such deep regret for the manner in which it died.

As mention in a previous post, I became quite ill about 2 weeks into our Colombian stay. We were situated in a town high in the Andes and faced a 16 hour winding, slow overnight bus ride to the Caribbean city of Santa Marta, we decided to wait until I was healthy enough to undertake such a journey. As it turned out, I was still very ill when I assumed I was ok.

After 2 hours of bumpy roads I became violently ill, the need to vomit was uncontrollable. Gabby tried to get them to stop the bus, with no success, I had to let go right then and there into my ever faithful Smith Hoodie (who was just minding his own business keeping my lap warm). It proved to be quite the make-do receptacle and I'm sure the (prick) bus conductor was surprised by just how much pepperoni pizza this gringo could put down, but unfortunately couldn't KEEP down.

A moment of hope passed through me thinking 'I could wash him, the smell would eventually disappear. Everything would be back to normal, we could sing, laugh and whistle like we used to'. But no, I was kidding myself, I had to lay him to rest. Coffined in a white plastic bag, placed in a Roadside Rubbish Receptacle (RRR) at a petrol station in Colombia's steamy North.

Miss you Black Beauty, think about you every day.

Bogota.

Landing in Colombia before embarking on the less intimidating South American countries was always going to be tough. But that's how I wanted it. We soon learned just how tough it was going to be. The first taxi driver we came across after landing had one thing to say to us when he discovered that we couldn't speak any Spanish - ¨Complication!¨ he laughed and then giggled for another 10 seconds.

Yes, we didn't speak Spanish and that certainly made our first few days in Bogota, the nation's capital, a little scary and we thought we had been throw right in the deep end. But in hindsight Bogota was a pretty cool place, with funky shops and bars. Also it was quite reserved and probably far safer than most of the places we've been to since.

One feature of the city was a cable car ride to the peak of a nearby mountain which provided stunning views over the sprawling city. There was an option to walk the mountain but, seeing as the city itself lies at 3000 metres above sea level, we decided to take the easy option.

Next up we hit the bus to a small town called Villa De Leyva. The bus rides themselves prove to be quite eventful, as anyone who has travelled through South America will attest to. For instance, the bus drivers in Ecuador are currently on strike because they are no longer allowed to drink beer while they operate a large vehicle at high speed which houses approximately 40 trusting souls! It's a bloody outrage!


Colombia has a metric shit load of military check points along it's highways. This is to help prevent paramilitary activity and kidnappings (which are still happening occasionally). At these points all of the male passengers are instructed to leave the bus (apparently women wouldn't ever dream of carrying a weapon) and the nice young military men touting AK 47's put in a token effort to pat you down and make sure you're an ok dude. One particular soldier thought it was hilarious when he approached me for a routine search and I threw my hands in the air like he was going to shoot me. He laughed so much that he forgot to conduct the search. I think there is a lesson in that for aspiring young kidnappers.

Our time in Villa De Leyva was great, it's a tourist spot for a lot of domestic travellers yet still sees very few foreigners. Gabby and I were approached several times in the street by gawking locals who wanted to have their picture taken with us, which was unusual for Gabby but just another day in public for me. I told them that everyone in Australia is as tall and hot as us.

We explored the cobbled, colonial streets in Villa De Leyva taking in the tourist attractions. One of which was a fossil of a sea dwelling dinosaur which was approximately 12 metres long and at least 200 years old!!!!! (which I'm told is when dinosaurs were eventually defeated by English stable boys who had grown tired of frequent dinosaur related violence).

There were many tourist attractions in the area associated with dinosaurs, including a park with hundreds of full scale models (shown below) that probably would be of little interest to most human adults, but Gab and I had a great time.


One of the things I'm trying to master on this trip is the dying art of the timer photograph. Where you set up the camera, click the shutter and run to get in the frame. You know, like Chevy Chase would do at the family Christmas gathering. It allows pictures from solitary situations which might otherwise leave you un-featured in the memory. Here is a fine example of this timeless (huh) art in practice.

I drank the water in Villa De Leyva late one night, desperate for hydration and I paid the price for the next two weeks. Bottled water only from here on in.........

Vague Vegas

Gabby's Dad, Bob, loves Vegas so we were nice enough to drive him there for a few days of whatever people do in Vegas. Gabby's other mommy, Lauren, in true rock star fashion flew in the following day.


I don't recall seeing Bob very much after we checked in, I assume he was off doing something that was not only financially sensible, but also good for his liver. Vegas is famous for it's many health spas after all.



We met up with our friend Matt, a Vegas resident who promised to show us some cool stuff. He got us tickets to the 'Filter' concert at the Rio which also featured free Fosters beer, just like we drink all the time down under!


Pictured here is Matt being downright Australian with his unopened Fosters tinnie and his friend Jamie doing his usual party trick of a koala impersonation.

It was a cool night which finished with a visit to the Rio's rooftop club where the drink pictured below caused the next 3 hours to disappear.
I have to say that my highlight of the Vegas trip was the hilariously serious Kareoke at Bill's Gambling Hall. This was very competitive business, with guys that brought their own music, microphones and fancy dress. One particular man, who did stunning renditions of Lionel Ritchie classics (including 'endless love' with his girlfriend) nearly melted my cold, cold heart.

Next up, Bogota Colombia!

One of the best things to come out of the states lately.

Californ aye, ay?

After a few crazy weeks of desparate last minute saving, moving out of our house, saying our goodbyes and generally erasing any paper trails that might lead the authorities to our whereabouts, we left for sunny California.

After a few days of decompressing / decomposing we hit the road for the good old fashioned California road trip. The plan was to visit Gab's brother Robbie in Santa Cruz and hopefully do some riding on the famous trails, catch the third stage of the Tour of California and then move on for a short glimpse of San Francisco.

We caught a glimpse of Lance Armstrong as he flew past at 80 kph in the bicycle race. He crashed out the following day, so we got lucky I guess. I have to say however, the most impressive part of watching the race was the speed that the team cars went through the corners attempting to keep up with the riders. Screech!!

After spending the night in Santa Cruz drinking with the redneck division of the local social demographic (never heard 'Ride the lightning' sung in unison by an entire bar before) we hit the local mountain bike trails. I've wanted to ride in the states since I was a teenager and this was a very pleasing introduction. Heaps of Redwood forest smooth singletrack followed by rough open singletrack. We encountered some of the local wildlife in the form of a large, wild cat. Then again, maybe it was a large wildcat. Either way it was large for a cat but small for a large sized dog. Luckily it had no interest in hanging around because apparently these medium sized buggers will literally rip your face off. We cautiously continued our ride and descended back to the car for the next twenty minutes over rough open singletrack. Jumping over rocks, finding creative ways to pass Gab and sliding through the corners whilst we watched the sunset over the Pacific were some of the coolest moments I've had as a bike rider and I'll never forget it.

Next day we travelled up the coast to San Fran where we wasted no time and went straight to the Golden Gate Bridge, unloaded our bikes and promptly rode over the thing. Have to say I was a little scared riding accross that big orange bastard as the wind howled and I looked at the freezing waters below .

We invested in a nicer hotel in San Fran than the one we had in Santa Cruz, which smelled like it housed a dead smoker covered in burnt hair for several months prior to our check in. Anyway, we hit the town and lived it up for a night in an ultra funky bar.

We did the Alcatraz prison tour the following day and it was truely one of the coolest touristy type things I've ever done. They gave you an audio guide so you could check it out at your own pace and still get some cool info about the place.

Here's a pic that I like taken from inside the walls and it demonstrates how little the inmates could see of the outside world.

We had to haul ass up the 101 back to LA that night, thank satan for red bull.

Next up......

Vegas

Welcome!

Hello and welcome friends and enemies!

Due to overwhelming encouragement from a close personal acquaintance, lets call him Mick H. No wait, that`s too obvious...... Anyway, a guy called M Hearne has pushed me to fulfil my life long desire to start a blog.

Currently it will help maintain some sort of brain activity whilst my wife and I are on the road on South America. But really it's just a self indulgent endeavour to crack myself up.

The first few entries will probably be a recap of our adventures over the last two months since we left Australia, then hopefully my entries will be less informative and more ridiculous.

Here is a photo of me and my friend Josh which typifies my pre-married life. I'm the guy on the left.

I hope you enjoy my ramblings and if you have any feedback or questions please leave a comment.