The final countdown.

I write this from the comfort of my mum's house in Newcastle, a world away from South America in many ways especially including excitement. This is not necessarily a bad thing, I mean after almost 5 months living out of a backpack, staying in a different bed (or hammock) every night, not knowing what you will eat or when you will eat next, constantly being on guard so to not get robbed or ripped off or hurt it comes as quite a relief to go home and enjoy a stable and predictable environment for a while and of course to see all the people you've missed over the last few months.

Gabby and I decided to fly home early and attend a friends wedding in the Hunter Valley, doing this meant that our flights were pushed back a few weeks, so we really had to cover some ground in the last ten days.
After leaving Bolivia with Oli and Kate, we crossed into Chile, where I had some trouble with the customs officials for 'smuggling'. Apparently they didn't take very kindly to the two apples which I had 'stashed' in my backpack, which I had forgotten about and failed to declare. I explained that the apples were for medicinal purposes and they sent me on my way before I could make any hilarious remarks which would have undoubtedly began with 'how do you like those apples'??.

Before parting ways with Oli and Kate, we had some celebrating to do for Oliver's 30th birthday. I can never remember the actual date of Oli's birthday and I still can't to this day, nor will I ever I predict. What I did know was that it occurred sometime during this trip, so we just decided to celebrate whenever we knew the timing was just right. as it turned out, we celebrated 'CarnivOli' sometime in early September in a place called San Pedro De Atacama, located in the driest desert in the world.

The evening was a tribute to the great man in style and in attitude. We copped some strange looks from locals who were obviously very uncomfortable with women acting so confidently whilst being dressed as men, but overall it was a really great night.

        

After a tear filled goodbye to our friends we pushed on to see some more of Chile, a bit more than we planned as a border block back to Bolivia and the unavailability of buses to go further South, due to Chile's independence celebrations, left us stranded for almost a week. Perhaps this added to my 'ho-hum' sentiment regarding Chile or possibly it was because of our own attitude at the time, but the place completely lacked the adventure and spirit that most South American countries tend to possess. 

Eventually we were back on track and back in Bolivia enjoying the cheap beds and beers and the availability of over the counter Valium. This came in very handy as we had decided that before we make our way to Buenos Aires and fly home, we must see Iguazu falls in Northern Argentina and in order to get there we had to take two twenty five hour bus rides and the Bolivian buses are certainly not built for an Amazonian couple such as ourselves. The Valium didn't knock us out as such, but it certainly helps you feel like everything is ok and that your seat is in fact a giant marshmallow that speaks fluent russian. 

Maybe it was the Valium, but a massive error in judgement on my part occurred during the second bus ride. We decided to take a bus through the Bolivian jungle into Paraguay and get to Iguazu that way as it was geographically the quickest and easiest route. Eighteen hours into this journey, at the Paraguayan customs office (which was 500 km into the country mind you!) we were informed that Australian's need a Visa to enter the country which had to be processed from outside Paraguay and would take a few days. The official informed us that we had to go back to Bolivia on the next bus which was at 2am the following night! Now, we were in the middle of nowhere in 40 degree heat and on a very tight schedule. After much pleading and begging, an under the table monetary 'agreement' was made and we were on our way with a 48 hour 'transit visa'. 

After reaching the other side of Paraguay, our guide book informed us that to reach Iguazu falls on the Argentinian side, one can take the quick 5 km route through Brazil and their is no need to have a Brazilian visa. We did not have Brazilian visa's as they are difficult and costly to get, so we trusted our guidebook for some reason and got our exit stamps out of Paraguay and headed for Iguazu via Brazil for 5 minutes. Naturally, the Brazilian officials told us that there is no way that this is possible and we had to go back to Paraguay and cross directly into Argentina the following day via ferry. Our taxi driver dropped us at our hotel and swore to pick us up the following morning, he was a great guy, he didn't even make us pay for that night's services. 

Sure as sugar, our faithful driver picked us up right on time to get the ferry over to Argentina. Trouble struck at the ferry terminal when the exit officials noticed that we'd already been stamped out of Paraguay the previous night, so another monetary 'agreement' was made with that particular official also.

                              

Gab, looking very happy to be leaving Paraguay.

Upon arriving on Argentinian shores, the officials informed our driver that he was not able to continue to drive us to our destination simply because they did not like the look of him. This was the precise breaking point of our driver and he looked like he was going to cry. He had done the majority of the negotiations on our behalf and was blown away by how difficult the entire process was. I didn't even have enough cash on me to pay the guy what he deserved to get, so in the spirit of humanity and driven by my desire to not cause other men to cry, I jumped in another cab, leaving my wife as a guarantee and asked the new cab driver to drive me to the closest ATM. After about 40 minutes and 6 different ATM's my card finally worked and I returned to a very relieved looking Gabby  who assumed that I must have ditched her to avoid a hefty cab fare.

I payed the driver what I owed him and gave him a $100 US tip for his effort and tenacity. The guy was over the moon as that's a fair bit of money in Paraguay. Everyone felt good and I hope the cab driver spent his hard earned tip on a nice night with his family (if he has one) or hookers and blow (if he doesn't have a family).

The Iguazu falls were simply stunning and easily the most impressive completely natural wonder I've ever experienced. The sheer volume of water, the thunderous roar and quantity of waterfalls in a small area had us giddy with excitement and I highly recommend it as one of South America's 'must do's'.

                                     

We shot down to Buenos Aires where we spent our two last nights in South America lapping up the famous nightlife and eating steaks the size of small cows. It's a fantastic city which I would visit again in a heartbeat if my liver could handle it!

Gab blowing minds and breaking hearts at the Kareoke bar.

South America is not your typical 'honeymoon' destination, although it is beautiful, it's not all ´Mojitos in the sun´, it can be very stressful and just plain hard at times. It certainly is a test for any relationship, even close friends, but it's a test we passed with flying colours. 

I would like to thank all the people we met along the way who helped make this such an amazing adventure for us and provided us with such great laughs and memories. I want to also thank those that helped get us there with your generous contributions on our wedding day, you guys rock!

But most of all, I want to thank my beautiful wife. You made this trip awesome. You're my best friend and the ultimate travelling partner and I look forward to many more adventures in the future.